Tag Archives: Michael Jordan

ULB Gives Final Approval for Montreal Move

Union League Baseball approved the sale of the Columbus Crickets today. Also given final approval was the move of the Columbus franchise to Montreal in light of Major League Baseball’s Montreal Expos taking flight and moving in next to the ULB’s Washington Senators.

Donald Sutherland leads a group that is buying the Crickets and moving them to Montreal.
Donald Sutherland leads a group that is buying the Crickets and moving them to Montreal.

The Crickets will be leaving behind a legacy in Columbus that included the 2nd start of Michael Jordan’s brief but Hall of Fame career before he set up shop in Charlotte. The Crickets attracted fans, but an inability to expand Dave Thomas Memorial Field or get a new stadium approved in recent years was the final nail in the coffin of the Crickets.

“In modern terms, the Crickets park was a refurbished nightmare. Built quickly and on the cheap, it held 32,000 fans, but lacked amenities. It wasn’t a ballpark built to last decades. The Thomas group always envisioned a new ballpark built within a decade. That never came to be due to potential voter backlash.” said Commissioner Steve Greenberg.

While MLB Commissioner George W. Bush was apparently miffed at the idea of the ULB’s Generals changing names to the Washington Senators two seasons ago, he enlisted high powered help to get approval for a new ballpark to be built in the footprint of Old RFK Stadium.

With the Expos leaving Montreal and the Thomas family looking to sell, the ULB hooked up with Canadian actor Donald Sutherland who had originally put together a group to buy the Expos from Jeffery Loria and keep them in Montreal. When that failed to come to fruition, the group approached the ULB with the idea to bring a ULB team back to Canada. With the sale approved from the Thomas Family to the Sutherland Group, and Labatt Park soon to be sitting empty after just 10 years of baseball, the fates aligned and the Montreal Royals were reborn.

The Montreal Royals were a minor league professional baseball team located in Montreal, Quebec, that existed from 1897–1917 and 1928–60 as a member of the International League and its progenitor, the original Eastern League. The Royals are most famous as the top farm club (Class AAA beginning in 1946) of the Brooklyn/Los Angeles Dodgers from 1939 to 1960, which included the pioneering African-American player, Jackie Robinson, as a member for the 1946 season.

Sutherland’s group include Eugene Levy, Saul Rubinek and The Right Honourable Brian Mulroney, the 18th Prime Minister of Canada.

“If we need to make a movie about the Royals, we’ve got 3 fine lead actors.” quipped Mulroney at the press conference.

Back In Blue

Charlotte Eagles owner Michael Jordan has filed reinstatement papers with the ULB, and has signed a 1 year deal with his own team. After a disastrous month and a long list of injuries to star players, Jordan has decided to don the cleats again. His press release announcing his own signing simply stated:

“I’m Back.”

Jordan will in effect pay himself to play. GM Kevin Parlett was reportedly ecstatic about his new signing. And he should be if he hopes to continue to be employed by his latest signing.

Juan Pierre Having an Affair with Columbus Stripper?

Pierre is in his first season with the Eagles after signing a 44 million deal in the offseason.
Pierre is in his first season with the Eagles after signing a 44 million deal in the offseason.

Columbus Crickets outfielder Juan Pierre is known for stealing bases. Back in July, it was reported that Pierre had injured himself chopping wood at his home in Columbus. Pierre’s wife, Liz Pierre, was in California on vacation at the time. Now, facts have come to light that Pierre’s innocent wood chopping induced back injury might have not been the truth.

Pierre signed with the Eagles this offseason, and has been an excellent addition to the Charlotte franchise. Pierre was selected to the All Star Game, and has hit .283 with 132 hits. He has stolen bases for the Eagles, and is among the team’s best hitters.

Pierre was reportedly sleeping around with a staff member of Kahoots Gentlemen Club.
Pierre was reportedly sleeping around with a staff member of Kahoots Gentlemen Club.

Pierre has been linked to a stripper at Kahoots Gentlemen’s Club in Columbus. Pierre has frequented the club in the past with other members of the Charlotte Eagles while on road trips to play the Columbus Crickets. Pierre and his BMW, with the ultra stealthy license plate BRN2SB, was photographed outside the Columbus Hilton, as was his gal pal, who goes by the ironic stripper name of Chastity.

“I find this hard to believe. Juan has been one of the more upstanding members of this clubhouse. I think maybe there’s more to it that we haven’t heard. I stand with my teammate and friend.” said fellow Eagles outfielder Ken Griffey Jr.

Pierre has declined to comment, as has Eagles owner Michael Jordan. General Manager Kevin Parlett expressed support for Pierre outside the Eagles offices.

“I support Juan, on and off the field.”

Liz Pierre declined to comment on the story as she threw Pierre’s record collection out the window of their mansion.

Commissioner Greenberg fines Charlotte Owner

Greenberg fined Eagles owner Michael Jordan $500,000 for inappropriate comments.
Greenberg fined Eagles owner Michael Jordan $500,000 for inappropriate comments.

The ULB announced today that they have fined Charlotte Eagles owner Michael Jordan for making comments to the media suggesting the Eagles should lose the rest of their games to gain a better draft pick.

“This type of mentality will not be tolerated in the ULB.”

Jordan declined to comment to the media. In a interview with ESPN, he said that he was hoping the Eagles would lose more games to obtain a better pick in next years draft.

“Eagles are on kind of a roll, which is almost depressing. I was hoping to try to get another top 3 pick.”

The Eagles are 66-82 and would currently be placed 5th in the ULB Draft Lottery.


Here are your starters for the 2004 Union League Baseball All Star Game, which will be held in Sunny San Jose, home of the Jedi. Skywalker Stadium will host the All Star Game for the 2nd time. Last time the ASG was in San Jose, the Crickets Hall of Famer Michael Jordan won that game for the Players League with a Walk off Home Run. Who will provide the fireworks in 2004?

LIGHT SIDE (Players League)

  • C Brian Horner, BRO
  • 1B Stefan Bailie, COL
  • 2b Jose Vidro, OKC
  • 3b Gary Sapp, BOS
  • SS Brett King, BRO
  • OF Shannon Carter, STP
  • OF Kevin Forbes, BOS
  • OF Ichiro Suzuki, LV
  • OF Juan Morales, OKC (Won FL Vote)
  • DH Kenneth Payne, PHO
  • SP Andy Yount, PHO
  • RP Scott Williamson, BOS

DARK SIDE (Federal League)

  • C Eric Christopherson, SJS
  • 1B Derek Baker, SJS
  • 2B Jason Moore, LAS
  • 3B Brian Sutter, HOU
  • SS Alex Rodriguez, JC
  • OF Daylan Holt, BUF
  • OF Anduw Jones, WAS
  • OF Albert Pujols, HOU
  • DH Adam Dunn, HOU
  • SP Roy Halladay, POR
  • RP Rhett Parrott, SLC

Reserves will be announced later today once the Jedi Council decides who will oppose the forces of Darth Timms and the Federal League. May the Force be with you and don’t forget to go see Star Wars, Episode II Attack of the Clones back in theaters nationwide for a limited time.



Michael Jordan Elected to ULB Hall of Fame

Charlotte Eagles Owner Michael Jordan was back in Columbus for the first time since leaving his playing days behind him in 2002. The occasion was a special one for Jordan, who was announced as the second induced member of the Union League Baseball Hall of Fame. Jordan recieved 83.3 percent of the vote and was the only player elected to the Hall this year. Jordan was a member of the Columbus Crickets from 1995-2002. He was a 6 time All Star, and was also elected MVP of the ASG twice, in 1996 and 1998. He won a Fielding Bible Award in 1996. While his numbers do not jump out at you as being awe inspiring, one has to remember that Jordan did not begin his baseball career until the age of 31 with the Chicago White Sox’s Double A affiliate Birmingham Barons. After one season, Jordan was on the verge of returning to the Chicago Bulls, but was persuaded to declare for the ULB’s 1995 inaugural draft. He was selected 7th overall by the Crickets, and remained with the team for his entire ULB career. He helped the team to finally make the playoffs in 2001 and 2002, though by this time he was no longer a full time outfielder or even an everyday player by 2002. The Crickets lost both years to the New Orleans Gold Sox.

He played in 985 games, collected 899 hits and hammered 137 home runs while amassing 488 RBI’s. He also brought a national spotlight to the Columbus Crickets for most of the ULB’s infancy, and his jersey remains one of the most popular selling ones in the ULB.

“He was one of the early bright spots for the ULB, and his contributions to the league go far beyond the field. He was our biggest marketing chip in the early years, and he also helped us to get several big time players to want to come to Columbus to play for the Crickets.” said Wendy Thomas, the owner of the the Columbus Crickets.

Crickets GM Dick Aceman refused to comment for this story. Aceman and Jordan had an epic falling out when Aceman told Jordan he would no longer be starting full time due to his decline in 2002.

Wendy Thomas and Jordan had a falling out as well. Jordan maintained that her father wanted Jordan to become part owner of the Crickets after his playing days were over. Following Dave Thomas’ death in 2002, that deal was off the table when Jordan retired. Jordan then became a part of the ownership group for the expansion Charlotte Eagles.

Jordan said that he was honored to be inducted to the Hall of Fame, and was excited that the league would make the announcement when his Eagles were visiting his former team.

“After the death of my father, I turned to baseball. He always thought I would be a professional baseball player, and we made that happen here in Columbus. The Crickets will always have a special place in my heart, but I sure hope we beat Kerry Wood today.”

Jordan will officially be inducted into the ULB Hall of Fame at a ceremony in Brooklyn in September.

Big Ox: I’m Better than Punisher, Way Back Kid

Jason Harrison is the most confident player in the league.

Jason Harrison has exploded for 10 HR in the early part of the season, leading him to declare that he is the best hitter in the ULB. “Yeah, of course I’m better than Payne and Edwards. Those guys can’t hold my jock.”

Harrison says that he has been overlooked because of the fact that he plays in Columbus and not a market like New York, or in the case of Payne, formerly Los Angeles.

“People overlooked me because I’m not MJ. Well, this year, MJ, he’s gone. Couldn’t play anymore anyway. I’m the next big thing here in Columbus. When I’m done here, people won’t even remember Jordan.”

When Asked about Harrison’s comments, last season’s HR champ Ken Payne reportedly responded. “Wait, isn’t he hitting like .199?”

Jordan Wants Team in ULB

Former Crickets Star Michael Jordan is looking to add another credential to his name: Team Owner. Jordan wants his own team, and after being rejected by the Crickets ownership group, he’s now looking to get one of the two Expansion teams planned for 2005. Jordan made a statement on ESPN today that he’s has approached investors to gain the needed capial on finance his latest dream.

“We’re looking to bring the ULB to Chicago in 2005. I have a lot of ties in the Chicago area, and I think we could compete with the Sox and Cubs for fans.”

Jordan stated that he wasn’t interested in being a minority owner, and that the Crickets offer was ‘a vast insult’ to him.

“I put the Crickets on the map. I don’t think they would have been nearly as big as they were early on if I hadn’t been part of the team. When I decided to retire, I had asked Wendy about becoming a partner. I’d talked to Dave about this in the past, and it was something that made me stick around in Columbus. Wendy has her own plans for the team, and it seems I’m not a part of that.”